Believe it or not these flourless brownies, with lots of protein and fiber are irresistible.  When your parents or even grandchildren see you enjoying these they will know that this isn’t the usual chalky drink stuff, but a real treat.  In fact, it can be a party, a nutritional one!

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 c. unsalted butter
2 c. canned black beans, drained well
1 tbsp. vanilla extract
2 scoops Chocolate Herbalfe Meal Replacement Powder.
1 c. walnuts, chopped
1/4 c. instant coffee grounds
1/4 tsp. sea salt
4 eggs
1 c. light agave syrup
Preheat the oven to 325. Line a baking pan (11×13) with parchment paper.
Melt the chocolate and butter in a glass bowl in the microwave for 2 minutes.
Once melted completely, stir with a spoon. Place the beans, 1 scoop meal replacement
powder, the vanilla extract, and 4 or 5 spoonfuls of the melted chocolate
mixture into the food processor. Blend until the beans are very smooth.
In a large bowl, mix together the walnuts and 1 more scoop Prograde Protein
powder. Add the remaining melted chocolate mixture, coffee grounds, and salt.
Mix well.
In a separate bowl, with a mixer, beat the eggs until light, about a minute. Add
the agave syrup, and beat well. Set aside.
Add the 3 separate bowls (bean and chocolate mixture, coffee and chocolate
mixture, and egg mixture) together. Blend well. Pour into your prepared pan.
Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, until the brownies are set. Let cool in the pan
completely before cutting into squares. Better yet, let these cool, and then
refrigerate, and they cut even easier.
Nuts may be substituted or omitted. (but what are brownies without walnuts)

Also, coffee can easily be omitted and it may be best to do so if that is an issue.  I make them without it and they are great.

Call me @ 919 844 7904 for information about the Heralife Meal Replacement

Makes 32 servings

While reading the new Oprah Magazine, I read something that is common wisdom, that men are more likely to leave wives with severe medical problems than women are to leave husbands. I have heard that many places and it makes sense. How does this translate into elder care or parent care?

Between my daughter and my niece there are 3 sets of grandparents and in all three cases the husbands nursed their elderly and very sick wives. For that matter my grandfather did the same thing. I could say that it is just a fluke in my family, but my in laws aren’t related to the rest in any way, nor are my brother’s.

Richard Jacob, my father-in-law was a very traditional man. I remember one Mother’s Day he thought he was doing a good deed to buy paper plates so Betty, his wife wouldn’t have to wash dishes. I couldn’t believe it so I suggested that perhaps he could just do the dishes and got a odd look as if I had just suggested he fly to the moon! But when his wife got Lou Gehrig’s disease, which eventually put her into a total paralysis before death, he became a most tender care taker. It was quite touching. Richard Jacob became an elder care giver.

My grandfather Orval Byrd was also a traditionalist, except in a generation before where the tradition was even more strict. But when Alberta had her stroke he quit the railroad to stay home and care for her. He learned to make noodles from scratch and spoiled her to the point where it probably made her worse. He had never so much as put a plate in the sink before.

My mother’s sister, Dorothy was cared for by her husband Ross and their son, Ross. She had Alzheimer’s disease and it took both of them to do the elder parent care in that home.

I don’t know much about my brother’s in-laws. Carrol Farris was a career military non-com and Billie gave birth to 8 children. But they may not have been as traditional. I don’t think she got as sick as the other women, but I do know that as her obesity and diabetes got worse, he took over until she died.

And then there was Dad. No one would have been surprised at all that he became Mom’s number one means of care. Fritz and Margo had always been a non traditional couple. When they went into the newspaper business together they worked all day, side by side and then went home to take care of the house and kids. Dad was a sweet heart and his devotion to her lasted until the very end.

So, no, there are men who don’t abandon sick wives, heck, where I come from its the norm! And I certainly know that men can do it, even the ones who never lifted a finger until the day their wives got sick. My cousin is an example of men who do elder parent care.

Are things changing or have these wonderful men, husbands caring for wives, just been ignored by a society who didn’t expect them to step up to the plate?

OK, we baby boomers know the importance of water, but the Greatest Generation just isn’t into it and frankly they don’t like us tell them what to do, eat or drink. OK, that’s just a fact. Add to that that no one likes to be told what to do by people whose diapers they’ve changed.

But the more important fact is that we all need water; my research indicates that anywhere from 58 to 77% of the human body is water. Thus when we are dehydrated we just don’t do well. One of the things that happens when you are dehydrated is that you blood thickens (needs more liquid) and thus not as much oxygen gets to your blood stream. One has to wonder how much of what appears to be dementia could be improved with more water. My mom suffered from dementia, but every time she got a blood transfusion she became more lucid. The more easily the blood travels to the brain the more health for the elderly parent.

But my Dad just wasn’t used to drinking water, and he didn’t much care for it. We had a terrible time getting more down him, even though he was basically cooperative.

So there is the usual memory trick that we all use. Fill up a bottle and drink ’til its gone. That helped Dad, for a while. But frankly, the best thing was giving the water some flavor. Sugary cool aid (assuming that your parent isn’t diabetic) is better than not drinking. Do be careful of any thing with caffeine however as that dehydrates. If Mom doesn’t believe that, ask her how much more she pees when she drinks a lot of coffee or tea.

Of course, the healthiest thing to do would be just putting some squeezed lemon in the water, but this generation is generally not into tart.

The important thing is: they have to drink. You have to insist on that. Bargain, if nothing else works. “If you drink all that water every day, I won’t nag you about…” Just get them to drink. If you want healthy elderly parents and know you are doing good elder care, get them to drink water.

The important thing is to get them to drink enough to avoid dehydration, but you will also want to know what signs to look for. A sudden fever, confusion, weakened muscles, rarer urination, rapid heart beat, sunken eyes or loose skin on the sternum or forehead are things to look for. If any of these start to occur this can be a card used to get your parent to drink more. Knowing that drinking might keep him or her out of the hospital about his specific thing, just might do the trick. Of course, if increased drinking does not help, the doctor is the next step. Don’t wait long though, dehydration is serious for everyone, but more so for the elderly.

Here’s to the best elderly parent care ever!

Dad had been taking care of Mom for a couple of years and at the point he got so sick from pneumonia that we didn’t know if he would recover. He was confused and not capable of much. I had taken time off from work to care for mother during this time, but couldn’t do it any more, and frankly, I just didn’t have it in me to be Mom’s full time caretaker even if I didn’t have to work.

My daughter and my brother said that assisted living was the solution so we went to look. One of them would have forced my agoraphobic and often senile mother to go to the dining room, no exceptions. It wasn’t looking good.

But we did find one that had some nice features. It was near my house, had a nice dining room and he could keep his car, going out during the day knowing that Mom was not alone in the building. They would even let my Dalmatian, Zoe, visit Mom. However, the room that they would be put in was tiny, with one small window and they would charge double because there were two of them, even though Dad would need no care. Additionally, even though Dad would have done most of the care for Mom, there were added charges for anything Mom did need.

At this rate, their money would last no more than 18 months. We asked if they would then take Medicaid and the answer was no, it was strictly private pay and when that was gone, it was gone. They would be evicted. But I was in a panic and Dad gave them a check.

What bowled me over was that he also said that one of the mistakes people make was that they didn’t move in until they needed it! Apparently he figured that the best way to handle your elderly parent care is to put them in a small undersized room a mile away. Go figure that one out.

They didn’t move in, Dad got a hole lot better and he died in my house. But I can’t help thinking about the issue. It still really gets to me and I know that there has to be a better solution for people who really do need to go to care. But I don’t see it coming.

Any ideas? What might you have done in this elder care situation? Have you ever paniced when the parent care got to be too much?